I moved out of my parent’s house a month before my eighteenth birthday. My health insurance all through my childhood was Medicaid-coverage for kids living in poverty. In the years that the program was in place, my family received blocks of cheese and bags of powdered milk from the federal government. Most winters there would be a couple of months so lean that my mother would have to go to the local food bank for groceries.
They housed me, they fed me, and they went to great lengths to create wonderful Christmases, but, from a very young age, if I wanted something I usually had to buy it myself. Everything they had they shared with my siblings and me. My parents were incredibly generous people.
#DEAR SUGAR RUMPUS MOVIE#
I got a job when I was fourteen and the money I earned went to things like clothes, school activity fees, a junked out car, gas, car insurance, movie tickets, mascara, and so on. There was never any question about whether I’d need to fend for myself financially once I was able to. It wasn’t that my mother and stepfather didn’t want to help me financially it was that they couldn’t. I received zero funding from my parents for my undergraduate education (or from relatives of any sort, for that matter). I wish I could see myself as the vibrant young woman I strive to be and would like to be in the future. I wish my parents would see me for the vibrant woman I am. I would love your perspective on this situation. Sugar, your perspective on life is always refreshing. Yet the stresses of student loans bear greatly, and I am having trouble keeping up any positive outlook. It wasn’t an easy process by any means, but I am finally in a place where I can breath. I purposely changed what I didn’t like about my life. I fell into a deep, dark hole a few years ago, and have crawled out slowly myself. I have always reached to have a positive spin on life. Yet this situation extends beyond any careful money management. I do not spend excessively and have always had careful money management. It is on my mind when I grab a beer, buy new clothes, and in general, live my life. But more often than not, I am defined by my “student loan” identity. I am a twenty-five-year-old woman who strives for the greatest possible quality of life and to be the best person she can be. However, I am more than my job and these items combined. I know my education, student loans, and occupation will define to me an extent. I struggle with student loans often defining me. Our phone conversations are 100% concerning student loans rather than me as a person. However, I have never been close to them, and am often weary of their intentions. I am grateful they were able to help me with an undergraduate degree. My relationship with my parents has always been rocky to the point that I’ve come to realize I’ll never get any emotional support from them. I’m so angry with my parents for putting me in this circumstance instead of supporting me to get a graduate degree for my dream job, and I feel selfish about that. I realize this is more out of necessity than spite, yet the situation greatly impacts my already poor financial situation and also my dream of attending graduate school. My parents graciously cosigned for my student loans, however, I am being forced to consolidate in order to relieve them of this duty. Student loans are continuously on my mind and are the cause of almost every stress in my life. I, as many other Americans, am struggling financially. My question is not about love or sex, but rather one of identity and striving for the best quality of life possible.
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